Some of the titles are ridiculous. And some are wide open to interpretation. I ran across this one this morning as I was attempting to fill my title queue:
“Homemade Potato Harvester”
Well, you know me. My smart-assedness just sort fell out and made a mess. I wrote the article like this:
1. Select child of appropriate age from brood.
2. Provide child with shovel.
3. Instruct child to shift dirt until potato is located.
4. Provide child with a holding unit for dug potatoes.
If you lack a child, borrow a neighbor’s child.
You must give your homemade potato harvester regular maintenance checks for fuel and fluid levels.
Do not leave your homemade potato harvester out overnight. Provide with shelter so it will be able to continue work the following day.
I can see this coming back with editor’s comments. “Could you please rewrite this and provide detailed information on how to build the child. As the base of your potato harvester, your reader needs to know how to assemble it. Remember to start steps using actionable verbs, and avoid clunky passive form. Please also clarify what an ‘appropriate’ age would be.”
Have I taken this too far? Yes, yes. As Mr. Aaron would say in his British accent, “This has gotten silly!”
I apologize. This post is evidence of my somewhat twisted sense of humor, I realize. But hey, I did not mention horses or put up a picture of food!
Disclaimer: I did not actually claim this title. Therefore, I am violating no copyrights by posting this “mock” article here. (It does not even completely follow DMS guidelines.)